Ticktock's Getaway
A story about how the ladies who lunch...didn't. PLUS: My new book at bottom.
Ticktock’s Getaway
Janelle Meraz Hooper
Three old friends sat in a new, upscale Chinese restaurant and patiently sipped red plum wine while they checked their watches. During their long friendship, they’d given each other names that fit them much better than the names they’d started out with in life:
Pattie became Angel—because she sang like one.
Judith became Antie Roe—because of her feelings about abortions.
Catherine became Vroom!—because her glove box was filled with speeding tickets.
Maria was called Ticktock—because she was always late.
Angel leaned over to look at Antie Roe’s watch and asked, “What time do you have?”
“She’s almost fifteen minutes late.” Anti Roe answered.
“Ladies, take out your dollars.” Angel said. “What’s it to be this time?”
“My money is on ‘My dog got out.’” Guessed Vroom!
“Put this buck on ‘I’m having a bad-hair day.’” Guessed Anti Roe as she tossed her dollar in the middle of the table.
“I have a feeling she forgot to get gas.” said Angel, as she sipped more wine.
There was a man two tables over who was grumbling at his wife. That was nothing new to the women, who’d each had two or three grumbling men in their lifetimes. They ignored him and continued to sip their wine. A blur in a red plaid blazer with a matching cowboy hat flew past their window, and the women each poised a hand over the pile of money.
“What happened to you this time?” Anti Roe asked as Ticktock straightened her cowboy hat.
“I hit a piece of dog food on the floor and slid into the laundry room door headfirst,” the woman mumbled while she dug around in her purse for lipstick, not looking at them.
Antie Roe said, “A dog story. Close enough!” when Vroom! picked up the loot. “Are you okay?” Angel asked. “Yeah. When that dog dies, I’m getting something that’s less trouble, like a bird.”
The grumbler two tables down got louder and uglier until he turned into a viperous snake, berating and spitting accusations at the little bunny he had trapped in the corner of their banquette seat. His sudden abusive outburst turned heads all over the restaurant, extinguished joyful chatter, and plastered worried looks on everyone’s faces.
“Ladies, garde-à-vous! Angel, you fly behind me—and sing loud!” Ticktock said. She didn’t explain why she made such a wild attempt to rescue a stranger; she was normally very shy. Ticktock took off her bright red cowboy hat and began to weave her way through the tables, passing her hat from table to table while Angel followed close behind, singing a song that none of the women had ever heard before. They suspected it was a new one Angel had written for her husband. It had a beautiful tune and everyone paused to listen. As she wound her way around the tables, her song rang clear and true, captivating everyone in the restaurant. She sang a cappella, that was always the best way to hear Angel sing anyway. Embarrassed, the snake quickly left in the direction of the men’s room. Ticktock leaned across the table when she passed the little bunny and said, “Meet me and my friends in the ladies’ lounge.”
“What is she doing?” asked Vroom!
“I don’t know but be ready for anything,” answered Anti Roe. Just then, the bunny ran for the women’s bathroom and Angel passed by her friends’ table and whispered, “Vroom! Get your car and meet us at the front door. The rest of you ladies, to the bathroom!” Angel sang all the way to the lady’s lounge, passing the snake on his way back to his table. Angrier than he was before, he averted her eyes. When he saw his wife was no longer at their table, he felt in his pants pocket for his keys. He had them. She wasn’t going anywhere he smirked. It was a long walk home and she had no money. No car. He ordered a drink while he waited for her to come out of the bathroom. She’d come crawling to him soon enough.
“What’s up?” Ticktock asked the little bunny inside the ladies’ lounge.
“Oh, it’s going to be another bad night. I knew it was—that’s why I sent the kids to my mother’s for the weekend. I didn’t want them to see me get tossed around like this again by their father.”
“What set him off?”
“Everything. Nothing. He always makes sure I don’t have any money when he starts these rages. He yells at me until I can hardly breathe, then, when we get home, he beats me because I wasted an expensive meal.”
“Look, take this.” Ticktock said, passing her the money she’d collected in her hat. “I got it for you.” When the little bunny weakly protested, Ticktock pushed the money toward her again. “You’re not alone.” She lifted her skirt high enough for the bunny to see the black and blue marks all over her legs. “My friends think I tripped over dog food.” she confided. “Is there anywhere you can go?”
“My mother’s. Maybe I could use this money to get a cab?”
By then Angel and Antie Roe were in the bathroom. Ticktock put her finger to her lips and pointed to her leg. The bunny nodded her head. Ticktock’s problems were to be their secret.
“Ladies, we’re going to take Bunny to her mother’s. One of you look out the door and see if Vroom! is here with the car yet. Make sure Snake isn’t around, too—did anyone pay our bill?”
“I did.” Anti Roe said, “I had a feeling we weren’t going to eat when you started passing your hat.”
“She’s here!” Angel said, sticking her head through the bathroom door. By the time the ladies got to the car, Vroom! Had all the doors open and the women threw themselves in.
“Hit it, Vroom!” Anti Roe shouted.
“Better phone your mom and let her know you’re on the way.” Ticktock said, passing Bunny her phone. Off they went, into a new life—for two of them. Watching Bunny and the Snake had given Ticktock a clearer view of her own life, and where it was going. No, where it was NOT going. She was not going to become a bunny for anyone.
“Vroom! Can you drive through a burger joint somewhere? I’m hungry!” begged Anti Roe.
“You got it.” Vroom! promised.
“As soon as we drop Bunny off,” Ticktock said, “drop me off at my mother’s—I’ll drive over with Dad later and pick up my car.”
“What just happened here?” Anti Roe whispered to Angel.
“I’m not sure, but I think Ticktock’s heart spring is broken—and it’s going to take more than a clockmaker to fix it.”
The end
After years of living on government reservations, Geronimo wants to take his band of Chiricahua Apaches back home to Arizona but he has powerful opposition in President Teddy Roosevelt, who has never liked Indians, especially Geronimo. Historical fantasy, humor/ Amazon*, paperback and ebook/ Coming in February 2023
*https://amazon.com/author/janellehooper